


Tips on How to Screw Up with Finesse

by FrostOnGalway



Series: How Asajj Ventress Saved the Galaxy [4]
Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst, Clones Are People Too, Don't Try This At Home, Eating Disorders, Gen, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, The Jedi Council Makes Terrible Decisions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-06 04:57:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19055683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostOnGalway/pseuds/FrostOnGalway
Summary: Anakin makes bad decisions, Obi-Wan ignores everything that would be obvious to the emotionally competent, their relationship works until it doesn't, everything falls to pieces, and they patch themselves up again.Wash, rinse, repeat.Eventually, something has to give.Scenes and missing scenes from How Asajj Ventress Saved the Galaxy and Got Zero Credit from Obi-Wan’s perspective.





	1. Suggestion 1: If You Screw Up, Deny Everything and Pretend It Never Happened

Obi-Wan is absorbed in filing reports. At least, he is pretending to be. He knows from long experience that the way to get Anakin to do what Obi-Wan wants is to pretend he either doesn’t want Anakin to do it or doesn’t care either way. Anakin suspects the ploy more frequently with the first method—especially as he’s grown older and become a renowned tactician in his own right—so its usefulness has diminished somewhat. Therefore, Obi-Wan carefully absorbs himself in his datapad and does his best to exude serenity. If he really is engaged in his reports, that is what Anakin should expect to find. It is also an attempt to subtly nudge the Force atmosphere in the room into something more peaceful than the mess that is Anakin’s Force presence at the moment.

He shoves away the guilt of _‘how did I not notice this?’_ and _‘it’s my fault for letting this get so bad’_. He knows Anakin best. He should have seen his partner’s deteriorating state long before now, if not physically, then in the Force. Obi-Wan hadn’t, because the change has been so gradually insidious that he has always been able to put off the growing signs in favor of more immediate battles—often literal ones. There’s no time to worry about the cracks in everyone’s facades when the lightsabers are swinging and the blaster bolts flying.

Still, he— _regrets._

He may have expressed more of his thoughts on the topic than strictly necessary when he updated Captain Rex. Especially the part about the painkillers. That isn’t something he had intended to share with anyone or discuss ever again. He is aware that the GAR in general have a rampant problem with drug—prescription and otherwise—and alcohol abuse in the same way he is aware that Anakin and Senator Amidala were more than casual acquaintances. That is, he tries to stay just aware enough to monitor the situation while maintaining plausible deniability. He might not approve, but he will protect them how he can. For the clones especially the consequences could be . . . disastrous. He has heard the whispers about what happens to ‘defective’ clones.

But lives also depend on the trust between Anakin and those under his command. Obi-Wan needs to be more careful now than ever to maintain Anakin’s status as a capable leader. Yet here he is blabbing all his partner’s secrets. His only consolation is that Rex is loyal to the core. He can’t take back what he said now, so it’s just one more thing to add to his growing heap of guilt.

The flow of the Force pulses blackly for a moment before snapping back into place. It’s not because of anything Obi-Wan did. Again, he wonders, _How did I miss this?_

 _You didn’t_ , says the most cutting part of him.

_I did. If I had known how bad it was—_

_But you knew it_ was _bad. You just ignored the warnings_ , the voice says, twisting the knife.

_No. I would have done something._

_Liar._

He stops himself from thinking any further by taking a savage stab at the datapad screen. Such feelings are of no help to Anakin now. He needs Obi-Wan to be the peace he can’t find on his own.

He wonders if his efforts are doing any good. It might be better if he got up and left Anakin to eat his porridge in peace. Honesty, this entire experience is pretty awful. Anakin is pretending to care about getting healthy again, that he got to this point through forgetfulness rather than intentional neglect. Obi-Wan is pretending it’s not breaking his heart to witness the scene before him.

The room is almost silent, but for the beeping of the machines, his own fingers hitting the datapad, and Anakin’s squirming. All are familiar sounds. Obi-Wan spends far too much time in the medbay, far too much time filling out reports, and a good chunk of his life around Anakin’s constant fidgeting.

It’s all very mundane. Except that it’s not. He keeps pushing serenity into the Force and it keeps pushing back _wrong, wrong, wrong._ Everything about the situation is overwhelming: the Force, the room, _Anakin_. Kriff, he could almost cry. He hasn’t done that since Satine, well, since she—since she . . . since the Duchess died.

Out of his periphery he can see that Anakin is on the verge of eating the first spoonful, but Obi-Wan takes an involuntary sniff. Anakin startles and the spoon clatters back into the bowl. Obi-Wan realizes he looked up to watch and glances away again just as Anakin’s eyes lift to see if he is watching. Anakin drops his gaze to the spoon again and they return to the polite fiction that neither of them is watching the other.

The dance begins again.


	2. Suggestion 2: Shift the Attention Away from Your Own Mistakes by Pointing Out Others’ Flaws and then Dropping the Mic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (You could also drop a cloak, if the situation demanded something even more dramatic.)

There are several reasons that Obi-Wan adopted the habit of stroking his beard. For one thing, Obi-Wan is aware that his Core-world accent, sense of propriety, and impeccable grooming often give others the impression that he is uptight. Over time, he has learned to play along with the joke. It helps to be underestimated. The beard-stroking is excellent for accentuating his sanctimonious air, both for comedic purposes and to encourage his enemies to underestimate him.

Second, what began as a tongue-in-cheek joke has by this point developed into a habit. He is not entirely sure he could stop if he wanted to. Besides, it is an objectively nice beard.

Lastly, it is a slightly more subtle method of hiding his facial expressions than simply covering his mouth. This is one of the primary reasons he retained the gesture until it became habitual.

Of course, such a flimsy trick doesn’t work with Anakin. Even separated and diminished in size as they are through the holocomm, he does not bother to hide his frown.

“I was sleepwalking,” Anakin is saying. “You _know_ I do that sometimes.”

Obi-Wan would prefer to be having this conversation in person. He’d prefer it even more if this conversation was unnecessary, but that would be too simple wouldn’t it? Still, he explains to Anakin all of the reasons why his excuse is invalid. He nearly died. Twice. In the span of less than a week.

Anakin looks ragged. The harshness of his physical appearance is muted by the holoprojector, but it’s still clearly visible. Obi-Wan doesn’t need the reminder. _He could have died._

Anakin promptly brushes off his lecture. As usual. _Honestly, why do I even bother?_ He normally considers this thought with a mixture of fondness and exasperation. Today he just feels defeat.

He would like nothing better right now than to steal Anakin away to their shared quarters in the Temple, wrap him in blankets, and stuff him with tea and takeout from Dex’s. Instead he is forced to play the bad guy. He says, “You’re going to stay in medical with restraints on at night until we’re sure you’re not going to try to kill yourself in your sleep. Again.” _Force forbid. It was horrifying enough the first time around._

“Why don’t you ever listen to me?” Anakin snarls. Obi-Wan is sure that if he were close enough, he would feel the Force roiling around Anakin. It’s a familiar feeling. Anakin is so bright that it’s nearly impossible for his Force presence to go unnoticed. It’s always fluctuating with his emotions in a way that Obi-Wan could never teach him to tame.

“Anakin,” he says, trying for a calming tone. _I’m not trying to hurt you,_ he wants to say. _I want to help you. Why are you fighting me?_

“Save your excuses for someone who won’t see through them, _Master.”_ Anakin practically spits the last word. They’ve apparently reached the stage of their standard argument where Anakin’s history with other uses for that word starts to show.

 _We’re not doing this,_ he thinks. _Not now._

He is not in the mood to go dragging up either one of their pasts. He takes a moment to collect himself, to breathe deeply and call on the Force for the ability to respond without rising to the bait. He says, “Clearly you’re not in a fit state to have this conversation. However, you might consider that this behavior is not helping you prove your case.”

“You mean my blatant emotionalism makes me untrustworthy? You’re just like the Council,” Anakin continues, still determined to argue.

“I’m on the Council,” Obi-Wan points out as reasonably as he can.

“You see? And I shouldn’t have to prove myself. You should just believe me.”

Now that is unacceptable. They both know Anakin is lying through his teeth about being fine and deliberately stirring up an argument to deflect. The painful thing is that some of his points might be valid if he wasn’t using them as a cover. The Council does have a tendency to berate him for his emotions and then manipulate him for the emotional reactions they want.

It’s not fair. He knows that. But he can’t swallow it back when he points out sadly, “How can I when we both know you’re lying?”

Anakin says nothing, recognizing the impasse they’ve reached.

Obi-Wan releases a sigh and prays to the Force again for strength. “I’ll comm again later when you’re prepared to have a rational discussion.” He signs off before Anakin can prolong the argument.

Lecturing Anakin is usually a bit cathartic, but their genuine arguments always drain him to the core. He would desperately like to sit down and meditate the hollowness out of his frame, but he is called away to be a general again.

The hurt lingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More content already? Who would have guessed?
> 
> Still kind of stuck on the main fic, but imma get to it soon.

**Author's Note:**

> This work is dedicated to one of my readers, Erin, who requested Obi-Wan's POV on "anakin refusing to eat despite his best efforts and on the conversation they have after Anakin’s nightmare and just obi-wan’s worry about anakin’s health in general". Thank you for the suggestion and I'm sorry that I lied about getting it done in a reasonable time frame. As an explanation, the name of this fic was inspired by the week I've had. Except I didn't have any finesse.  
> I know I only filled the first part of the prompt. More will come at some point.
> 
> Side note: I am in no way actually suggesting you follow Obi-Wan's lead. The poor man needs some therapy. Yeah, he's a cool guy, but the Jedi have flaws and he's no exception.


End file.
